The Most Important Parenting Advice You May Not Know
Parenting can be one of the hardest things for a lot of people, this is because each kid is different from another. Even if you are a parent of multiple children, each of them may have a unique personality and some of them may respond to one parenting method of yours different than the other one. Of course all of us wish parenting a child was an easy thing, but this is not simply the case. One of the main reasons behind it is it is not only us parents who influence our children, the outside world has a great effect on them as well, their friends, society, media, etc, all and all have great effects on our children.
We as parents have gained a lot of experience during our lives and we try to tell our children if they don’t follow what we tell them is right, they are going to regret it. But as you can see or have heard a lot, telling children what to do doesn’t usually work out as well as we like it to, so maybe we have to change our strategy and try to teach our children what is right and what is wrong in a different way. This is exactly what we’re going to talk about in this article. This is actually something a lot of parents are not aware of or simply dismiss because it’s hard for them to believe some methods work better than telling. So if you’re interested to learn what this method is, please keep reading.
How many times has it happened that a parent tells their children what is right and what is wrong but it is not simply effective? A lot of us as parents keep telling our children that using a particular language is wrong, drinking alcohol before turning to legal age is wrong, talking back to parents is wrong, etc, but we still face the resistance of our children and wherever they go, they still keep doing the same thing.
So what is the solution? The solution is to stop telling them what to do and actually show it in our actions. Let me give you an example, imagine you’re telling your children not to use a particular language when they are angry, but you do it all the time when you are angry and your children are witness to that, how do you think it is going to affect them? Are they going to accept what you’re saying when you’re actually doing the same thing yourself? Of course not. So what you need to do is to try to control your language in front of your children or whenever you’re lecturing them about why they shouldn’t do it, instead of trying to cover your imperfections, be honest with yourself and your children. Tell them that even though you use bad language sometimes, you still know it is a bad thing and you yourself are trying to eliminate this quality from your personality. After a while, your children will feel that you’re not being arrogant and just lecturing them, instead, you are being modest and confessing your imperfections, this is a beacon of light in their minds saying “maybe my parent is right”.
Another great tip which actually follows the one we just mentioned is supporting the learning you want to happen in your children. Think about all the situations in which you started blaming your children for behaving in a specific way, you started nagging at them and accusing them of doing something wrong instead of listening to them. Every human being no matter how young they are always have a reason for their actions, so if our child does something which we think is wrong, instead of bombarding them with blame and lecture, we should instead ask them why they did it. Believe me, if you can make your child comfortable with you, they will open up to you gradually and you will learn a lot more about them and also they will start to change because they know you care about them and what you’re saying is for their best.